Saturday, January 17, 2009

Throwdown at the O.N.Corral



So, I'm clothes shopping today with the wife and daughter. As usual, I'm perusing the clearance crap looking for ridiculous bargains while the two girls are looking at girlie stuff like shoes and purses. Anyway, some Hispanic dude walks by and starts giving me the eyeball. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe all 5'2" 110 pounds of him thought he could handle a full plate of the 6' 200 and too much pound Donkey. Whatever his reasons, he's trying to stare me down with the one crazy eye he has peeking out from under his crooked cap.

I thought he had to have been joking, but nope he looked as serious as serious could be. And then, I started to chuckle. I mean, here we are, at a freakin' Old Navy Store in one of the more affluent suburbs of Chicago's north shore and this freakshow wants to start something with me? Could there be a less likely place for a throwdown? Maybe he just got back from a brawl at Abercrombie & Fitch. Or, perhaps Crate & Barrel didn't have enough aisle space for his liking. All I know is that if we started something, I'd be knocking him through the walls of the Eddie Bauer store next door faster than a cashier can say "Would you like to save 20% by opening up an Old Navy credit line?"

He had to have sensed that in me because he blinked first. He looked me up and down one last time and then moved off to the cardigans. And me? I found two awesome corduroy jackets that were 50% off. Yup, I definitely won both battles today.

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