You know what pisses me off?

Cans of Diet Pepsi. Not Diet Coke. Not Diet Rite. Not Diet Whatever Generic Brand Your Store Carries. Just cans of Diet Pepsi.

As far as diet drinks go, Diet Pepsi tastes pretty good. The problem is that Pepsi puts their carbonation on steroids. That shit in the can goes flat in about 3.8 seconds. If you don’t shotgun it, you’re going to be drinking flat pop. Seriously, open up a can and before you can get to “Four Mississippi” it’s just murky brown water.

Jagoffs.

I'm not saying it needs to be carbonated for an hour, but it would be nice to enjoy a bubbly beverage for at least 10 minutes. Someone needs to do something about this. Soon. Otherwise, I'm going to be back on the overpass chucking cans at everyone I see. If I have to go back to prison again, so be it. Just don't say I didn't warn you all first.